Lesson #485: Empathy and protesting

Tonight on The Current Lifestyle: Lesson #485 Empathy and protesting
Empathy:

Hey there my fellow readers! I do hope your holiday season has been good to you. Whether it's over or still being celebrated, I do hope it was filled with joyful moments. Ours was, thanks for mindfully asking. :-)

Tonight's topics are quite special. It marked a milestone in learning for not only my toddler chunk, but also has taught me a little bit too. Now, when I write this, I write this with a humorous side. I don't write for any ill intent or to embarrass my chunk of love. So, please enjoy the making light of a situation in the journey of motherhood.




This morning went off quite well. Chunky P was happy as a clam when she woke up and was just as excited about breakfast. Since she was spending the day with me instead of going to daycare, I decided that it would be nice to play with her after morning cartoons. Foreshadowing............NICE. After the same Mickey Mouse episode that we've seen over 1 million times was over, I asked Chunky P if she wanted to play a game with mommy. She was delighted and said, "Okay, mommy sit here." So I grabbed HiHo Cherry-O and sat on the floor where she was.
We have been using this game as our introduction to board games for her because the game doesn't have many rules and its an easy counting game. Seriously, the highest number you need to know is 4. So, we've played this before, it's not new to Chunky P. The object of the game is to be the first to get all of your cherries into your basket. In the game there is a space on the spinner where instead of collecting cherries for your basket, things happen that make you put back a cherry/ies. It was my turn and the spinner landed on the dog. That means you put your cherry back. THIS IS WHERE ALL HELL BROKE LOSE!

damn dog

Who would have known, that my chunky P was going to show that she was indeed learning to empathize with others when mommy had to place a cherry back onto her tree. She couldn't move on. I couldn't get her to move past the fact that the dog ate my cherry. It was comical at first. She just kept saying over and over, "the dog ate mommy's cherry." As I stifle my gutter mind of laughter there, I tried giving her some hugs and telling her it was okay. Then when I knew that was a lost cause we cleaned up the game, without finishing, and I went to the bathroom. I was followed into the bathroom by a crying toddler still stating, "the doggy ate mommy's cherry." I tried to tell her mid pee, mind you, that mommy wasn't crying or upset that the dog ate her cherry. Nope, not good enough. I even told her after washing my hands that maybe the dog was really hungry and needed the cherry. Nope. This went on for 45 MINUTES!!! Finally I couldn't take it anymore and when we went upstairs to brush our teeth I told her, "I know you're sad, but if you're going to continue to be sad, you'll have to be sad in your room." So, I took her to her room and left her there to figure out whatever it was that was so traumatizing about that game. I left her door open, 3 minutes later, I have a tooth brush in my mouth and she comes into our bathroom ALL SMILES and says, "HI."

feeling sad for mommy

Now, after this I had a lovely visit scheduled with my therapist. The visit was already planned, but I did share our morning adventure with her. I was enlightened to other ways that I could help Chunky P move through her feelings, without making her feel as if they aren't correct. One way is to say, "I see it's really difficult to be you at this moment. Do you want to talk about this or tell me what is bothering you?" Or, "I see you are having a difficult time, is that true?" I was told this could make her cry louder and/or more but that it should help her feel secure and move through solving the issue at hand faster. I'll give it a whirl next time, because we all know, there will be a next time.

Protesting:
As our day slowly got better, I made the mistake of thinking the evening should turn out well despite our little meltdown. Well, apparently that's where I went wrong. Just ask the microwave. Once a week, we have left overs. It saves us money, I throw out less food, I also feel like I'm teaching Chunky P the lesson of being thankful for the food you have to eat. Well, I guess the microwave just couldn't take it anymore or thought my cooking was just too horrid for the other members of my family to ingest. As soon as I put the last plate into it, shut the door and selected my time, the thing sent out sparks and smoke and died. Yes, I checked for metal, and the sparks were coming from the bottom of the microwave not inside. I've lived many places, used many microwaves, and never had this ever happened before. I mentally thanked the microwave for it's years of service to our home as my husband removed it from its place and told me it must have short circuited. "I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal for dinner while the rest of you eat the hot food the microwave

decided was eatable." (Because I'm that mom who heats her food last)





Ahh, what a perfect ending to a perfect day. To be completely honest, I managed to get through this day without losing my cool. Amazing I know. So if you want to, leave a comment about your life adventures with lesson #485 Empathy and Protesting. I'd love to read it! Or, leave me a review on your microwave since I need a new one.


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When you wake up in Narnia

Tonight on The Current Lifestyle:

When you wake up in Narnia; what happened last night and where is the wardrobe?
Can't we just eat a sandwich like a normal person?

When you wake up in Narnia; what happened last night and where is the wardrobe?

So yeah, when I woke up this morning, life outside my window pretty much looked like this. We had such wind gusts that the trees looked like they at one point were running but froze into place with snow drifting off of their sides. Everything was white and glittered, all sound was muffled quiet and it was cold. -21/-6 (Celsius then Fahrenheit.) Through out the day, I experienced some new driving techniques, as one from the South, this was an adventure all its own. Some personal tips are listed below.

1) Give oneself plenty of time to shovel or snow blow the driveway before any appointment.

2) Give oneself extra time to get from point A to point B.

3) Full blasting the heat onto the window is the only way to keep it from fogging up into an icy mess.

4) yes, windshield wiper fluid can freeze and clog the spray nozzles. 

5) When exiting the vehicle, make sure not to rub leg against the car. Or this will result in cold, wet, muddy looking spots on the pant leg.

6) Driving below 40 MPH is considered normal at this time of year, hell, drive even slower if you feel like it.

7) Snow tires, are a necessity and be glad you have them.

8) Nose hair freezes at these temperatures, so breathe through your mouth.

9) Those seat heaters I thought were pointless in FL months ago, well my ass sure likes them now.

10)White out. Is not a racial term for a white only dance party. It is a scary as shit I hope I'm in my lane still omg, please don't anyone hit me in a head on crash type of weather driving scenario. 

Upon experiencing these events, I truly began to understand the overrated happiness of palm trees and December swimsuits in FL. 

This brings me to my next topic:

Can't we just eat a sandwich like a normal person?

I love my toddler. I do, she makes me laugh and remember that sometimes its about the little things in life and that sometimes you can do things differently or think differently. But in all reality, those thoughts are not applied to my life when it comes to simply eating a darn peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I'm not sure who else experiences this, maybe its just that my chunk o love is special, but I'm going to start making her sandwiches without bread. Literally, just slop blobs of jelly and peanut butter into a pile and say "lunch is served." Why you might ask. Because my kid never eats the bread! Seriously, she picks and scrapes the unfolded bread pieces with her fingers, no less, (drives me insane) and eats the insides and tosses the bread to the side of her tray. Then has the audacity to ask for more. It also happens with other types of sandwiches, grilled cheese, turkey, pulled BBQ chicken; you name it. I've even tried different types of bread. It's not that she doesn't like bread, she is overly excited about toast in the morning, AND eats that normally and with jelly on the toast. Like WTH? What in the heck is the difference??? 

But, as I watch her enjoy her lovely sugar filled, more likely corn syrup, lunch, I can't help but smile as shes doing this because she is happy. She is full of unconditional love and I'm happy that I get to spend these precious if not messy moments with her. 

lick your elbow contest...lol

So, good night friends. This is what I'll leave you with. The lick your elbow challenge. It's truly impossible to do. Yeah, I saw you tried it.

Whine and Whine! Why can't I get a glass of wine?

Tonight on The Current Lifestyle:

Whine and Whine! Why can't I get a glass of wine?
Last minute learning ideas.


Whine and Whine! Why can't I get a glass of wine?

wrong cup

I swear to the ever loving Gods of children, if I have to go through another day like today I'm going to literally commit myself. (Chunky P for this article will be renamed Cranky P.) Today started like any other typical morning. Dear husband got Cranky P up and dressed and headed downstairs to make himself and Cranky P her breakfast. Between that and somewhere when I enter the picture, things apparently started to go down hill for Cranky P. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure it all started with giving her water in the WRONG cup. I guess the gates of hell where shooting daggers at me or her who the hell knows, because that set the stage literally for everything we did today to result in a whine. Cranky P refused to use big girl words, as we call them. She also refused to listen MULTIPLE times as I told her and disciplined her on the spot when I asked her not to spit her water out of the cup and down her shirt. How many times can you put a kid in time out, or have them repeat back to you what behavior you do or don't want just to make sure they've understood it, only then for them to turn around 3 minutes later and do it again? We are all for redirecting, taking responsibility for your choices and proper consequences being given for those choices, but we are not a spank your child family. To top off this odd behavior for the day, it's as if shes really testing us to see what powers she holds. (If any.) Anything I said "no" to today resulted in a whine. For example: cleaning up our toys, diaper changes, lunch not ready when she thought it should have been, Ipad time was over, I suggested playing with her toys, waking up from her nap, and finally going off to entertain herself while I made dinner. Like WTH? I seriously couldn't win for losing today. The sad ending to this day was that Cranky P just wouldn't stop spiting her water out at dinner. Time outs weren't working so for the first time we sent her to her room. We could hear her crying after that, but it wasn't like she was dying or tantrum throwing. Bath time which happens after dinner was interesting. She normally has bath time with daddy but he needed help for the first time ever. I was down stairs washing dishes when he called down to me that, "this isn't working!" and I could hear the tantrum from Cranky P. So, when I got to her room, I helped dear husband get a diaper on our all of a sudden Hulk of a two year old and I held her in my lap for a few minutes while she calmed down. My husband at first was like, what are you doing? I calmly explained to him that sometimes when (and I'm not stating my kid is, shes been screened) Autistic kids have a difficult time, we hold them like this to prevent them from hurting others or themselves. The sensory hug hold and touch also helps make them feel safe and calms them down. After a 2 minutes Cranky P was able to calm down, and explain to us FINALLY in big girl words that she wanted to take her diaper off herself, not dadda. If an eye roll insert could be inserted here, oh wait.

 Like really kid? This is what you were losing your marbles for? Now pause, husband then turns to me and says, "she wanted me to know when I came in here to get her for bath time how it was Kodi and Zoe, (our two cats) that were spitting the water out!............................................................................................................................................................................new thought, my kid has learned how to lie? Wait, is my kid calling me a liar?
Flash forward, dear husband is washing Cranky P in the shower and tells her to its time to clean up her toys because the shower time is all done, and AGAIN she loses her shit! Flash forward 10 more minutes, I'm getting dressed from the shower and Cranky P comes in all smiles and in her PJ's with her hair combed and my husband says, "I tried that hug hold and it worked and she then told me that she wanted to do a towel tent, so we did." (A game my husband invented by making a tent out of a towel.) Needless to say, she went to bed an hour early, surprisingly without complaint. To make it even better, I'm going to whine about not being able to have a glass of wine to wash away this day. And as I sit here typing out this long story, I've learned a few things today.

1) My kid now lies, where the hell did she learn that? And she pretty much called me a liar for sending her to her room because I saw with my own two eyes the water being spit from her mouth.
2) My kid chooses when to listen or not
3) My kid can make her own choices
4) We're in need of a more effective way to get the behavior we desire.

Now before the comments fly, because I receive so many.......NOT! We are not a spank or hit your child family. End of discussion. I am open to any comments or advice people have about non-violent consequences and discipline for young children. Yes, I also did check her to see if she was teething or if she had a fever, all clear. Also, yes, I give my kid plenty of one on one time. So, please don't write me and say I should get off of my phone or stop washing our laundry to play with her. Trust me, I do it and she honestly needs to get ready for entertaining herself a little more because once her baby brother arrives, her time will be different.

Last minute learning ideas:
The last point I made about playing with Cranky P brings us to our next topic. Today, I spent sometime with Cranky P painting and playing hunt for things that start with the letter B. She knows all of her letters already, but practice and repetition will help her tremendously when it comes time to read and start school. This probably was the best part of our day. We reviewed all of our letters, painted the letter B, searched for objects that start with the letter B, sang a song about the sound letter B makes and I wrote words and read them with her that started with the letter B. All of this I was able to create with paint, paper, brushes and imagination in like 10 minutes. We must have spent at least an hour having fun with the letter B. So, if you're looking for something to do with your toddler to keep them entertained and learning at the same time; try something as simple as letter games or you could do this with numbers or shapes.

We still haven't selected a dominate hand. Painting the letter B over painters tape. 

items that start with B

So please leave a comment. Or drink a glass of wine to my day. 

Morning Sledding and what I'm currently reading

Tonight on The Current Lifestyle:
Morning sledding and what I'm currently reading

Morning Sledding:
For a girl who grew up in the South most of her life, I have to admit, life up North is cold. No this wasn't unexpected, however with temperatures plummeting this coming week to (I kidd you not) Thursday's high -11/12 and the low -18/0 (Celsius first then Fahrenheit) that makes a person who has worn flip flops for most of her life or sometimes no shoes, go.........uhhhh my toes feel funny.

So anyway, today dear husband and I thought we would spend sometime taking Chunky P sledding. Yes, We not only received a boat load of powder perfect snow all night long, but preggy McPreggers here even sledded a few times down the hill in our yard. The three of us had a blast which ended when we needed to shovel our way out of the driveway to get some shopping done and even faster when Chunky P decided she wasn't cold or hydrated enough and ate bowlfuls of snow! Literally, I think she took my line of, "daddy ate snow big time", to mean, well I've got to eat some serious snow too! Cue shovels of powder white into mouth while mommy pulls Chunky P on the sled towards the garage. It was like an all out buffet that never ended. As you can imagine, her face was quite red by the 20th time I told her to stop eating the snow and I took her into the house.

 Today was a fabulous day. I haven't been able to say that in awhile. It was so nice for a change to get the chance to relax and just enjoy the people in my life who I love and love me too. I'm grateful for these new and fun experiences and can't wait to one day share them with our little boy soon too.

What I'm currently reading:
Ah, I love that topic title. If you're an avid reader such as myself and either have books to recommend or want to discuss books, leave some comments or email me. I love book discussions. I'm currently working on a new page to add to my blog titled.....wait for it.................................................................................................................................Currently Reading.

Cue dorky smile

There you will find books I've read and reviews. I'm open to all types of genres but at the moment I've been into non-fiction. If you don't have a Goodreads account yet, get the free app on your phone and follow me there too. It's an amazing book app and has opened up a new way for me to track books I've read and want to read in the future.



That's all for tonight my awesome readers. Leave a comment or email me sometime. I'd love to hear from you.

Pregnancy sucks and toddler goes to school (a more serious discussion)

Tonight on The Current Lifestyle:

1) Pregnancy Sucks
2) Toddler goes to school
things are a little more serious this evening.



Pregnancy Sucks:

Alright, I'll admit it. This pregnancy thing I really can't wait for it to be over with. Now before I dive into my reasons, know that I am aware of how so many couples have the most difficult time conceiving a child. I completely sympathize with them and understand that conceiving any child can be a miracle and this is in no way an intent to trigger an argument.

Now with that out of the way, I'll state my reasons for disliking pregnancy altogether. First and foremost, I'm a complete psychopath when pregnant. These hormones that I have no control over made my husband laugh with the first child, but with this one; well we aren't laughing anymore.
For example; I was complaining to dear husband about the possibility of Chunky P getting our back seats muddy when it starts to snow this winter. (She still faces backwards) He calmly stated that he could fix that problem by using a piece of leftover carpet and tying it to the back seat of the SUV.................... Cue look of death!

Too harsh? 

Poor guy didn't know what hit him. I immediately started ranting all of my "then" reasons why I couldn't have that as a solution and we had to go buy something specially made for situations like this. I couldn't have a ghetto looking car! Because we all know I drive so many people around in my SUV (NOT) and I love to drive other people (NOT) and my car is always spotless on the inside (NOT) Alas, a month goes by and I've been to Target (several times) and have seen the item that is sold for my apparent problem. But, I've never been able to bring myself to purchase the thing. Another month goes by and it starts to snow. I decided to wash my car at home for the last time before winterizing the hose and I see that piece of carpet dear husband had in the garage. I went right up to him and said, "you know, we could place this here near her feet and tie it to the seat and this would be perfect for preventing mud and snow from getting on the seats!"
Yeah, I'm that wife!

The second reason why pregnancy sucks is MY KIDS MAKE ME SICK!!! Yep, like Chunky P gave me morning sickness for like 6 weeks. My son, all pregnant women claim boys don't make you sick, put me in the hospital with Hyper-emesis Gravidarum. The sickness lasted from week 4 to week 15. Thanks son I haven't nicknamed yet!!! If you don't know what hyper-emesis is, it's a severe form of morning sickness. I ended up in the hospital for an overnight stay, 5 IV fluid bags later and I was sent home. I was living off of cold white rice and cold boiled eggs. Even water made me nauseous. Which I didn't think was possible. Dear husband had to drive me to his parents and leave me there with Chunky P for a week because I couldn't take care of myself let alone Chunky P. (He had a work trip he couldn't miss) And if you don't know what morning sickness feels like, other than the fact I secretly dislike you now, it's like a hangover that never ends. Even after throwing up.

in the hospital

at the in laws healing

My third and final reason pregnancy sucks is because I literally lose my body for 9 months. Selfish, absolutely. But a mother literally gives up herself the moment conception starts to the finish line where shes either ripping her v jay jay open or her abs open in surgery. Like come on! No one tells you your V jay will disappear with your growing belly. Everyone talks about their feet missing. Like, one is more important than the other folks, trust me! And I just love watching the workout pregnant moms. I wanted to be one so bad, but I literally crave the worst foods, feel like my heart is going to give out just walking sometimes, and I'm exhausted. Seriously, I'm just exhausted watching those women workout! (and when not pregnant, I'm a fit mom)  Lets not even start on the topic of maternity clothes that I refuse to buy because of expense and how uncomfortable I feel in them or peeing in the middle of the night.

I miss that body...."ah I worked out!"

On a positive note, I do love and miss (when my kids are born) the kicks from the inside. I miss the connection and the "not knowing" who I'll be meeting. I am looking forward to meeting my son and having him complete our little family. But, I think I'm even more looking forward to getting back to myself and well, who am I kidding, that wont happen until I figure out how to juggle 2 kids with less sleep!

Pregnant and Pj's don't fit

Toddler goes to school:
This too is not intended for an argument.

our first day

Ahh the joys of Tuesdays and Fridays where little Chunky P goes to school. Its day care, but hey, they have a curriculum and she learns new things and has new experiences so we call it school. Each time I pick her up she's so excited to tell me about her day and what she did in school that it calms my anxiety of leaving her with complete strangers throughout the day. You'd think that a former teacher wouldn't be so anxious about leaving her own child with others, but believe it or not, it's a struggle. I didn't realize how much I needed Chunk to leave the house for a day or two and she probably needed it as well. I've come to realize I'm also a more likable person when I've had a break from my child. I'm not as quick to snap due to thin patience and I've also had time to not only myself, but to cross off items on my "to do" list that have been neglected. If you're a mom or dad struggling, try letting someone take care of your little chunk of love even if it's for an hour. Give yourself a break, because we all know you need and deserve it. Let the guilt go. That's my hardest thing but try, trust me, you'll feel better and be a better parent for it. And now that my wisdom has been read by all and spread through out the earth, go forth and prosper! haha!

Leave some feedback, I'd love to hear what others have to say about their experiences with mother or fatherhood.

I'm back. The pity party is now over, well sort of

Tonight on The Current Lifestyle,

1) Where did I go for over a year
2) New life 

New home in New York

 1) Where did I go for a year

After my last post sometime in November of 2015, I dropped off of this blog without warning. I simply couldn't take the criticism from my family. Honestly, people were mad at me days after my surgery for a number of things and I decided that I just was going to let them win and stop posting; which was healing for me, but alas I "forgot" everything is about everyone else.

I can see you as the reader saying, "okay, so whats going to stop you from disappearing a second time? Well, honestly, my "don't care" attitude. I'm going to start putting it to use just in time for the holidays to roll around, and YOU! My reader. I used to make people laugh with this blog and knowing that used to make me happy. That leads me to our next topic of discussion...


2) New Life

Since the last post in November 2015, We have moved from our tropical climate home to this place in central New York close to the wall. (Game of Thrones references may or may not be used here)

The Wall

I guess that makes my home Castle Black, except there is heat and things grow green in the summer and well, I have some close female neighbors.Yes, I know there is no actual wall separating NY from Canada, but I consider the boarder crossing a wall of sorts and all Canadians wild-lings! haha! J/K Love you my Canadian friends.

Wild-lings

We moved here on my birthday. To grant me the greatest welcome, it even snowed on my birthday. Something I didn't even know could happen in April. So, Chunky P, Scott and I lived in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment for the first 4 months until we found the place we could call our very own. We now live on a beautiful piece of land on the side of a mountain that we moved into in Aug. I must say, it took some getting used to, not just the apartment life, or Northern life, but even the new house was bigger and different. For example, some questions our realtor literally laughed at me for asking.....(Jen was fabulous, kind and understanding of my lack of knowledge in this area)
         1) Where are the air conditioning vents?
         2) What is a dehumidifier?
         3) What are those floor vents for?
         4) Why do we have to keep taking our shoes off in these tiny rooms in each house we look at?
         5) Wait, explain again how I'm not drinking shit water from my well if sits below my septic?
         6) What is a walk out basement?
         7) What the hell is a sump pump?
         8) Isn't a furnace one of those coiled things next to the wall you see on TV that makes a hiss?

Ahh, the luxurious life I've lived as a Southerner and a Westerner. These questions might seem like no brainers to Northerners but, hello, I was born in the desert and grew up mostly in Florida, where there are no basements, floor vents or mud rooms.

To add to this list, we are also expecting an addition to the family in March 2017. We will be expecting a little boy this time around and I kid you not Chunky P could give a care less at the moment. I guess at 2 years and 3 months, things aren't really a reality for you until it comes home and never leaves.

I'll leave you with all of those thoughts to ponder as I close this entry for the evening. As I crawl through this motherhood journey, you'll start to see that I've been battling a toddler, difficult pregnancy, new winter experiences and depression to cap it off. I say battling, because I can't quite say I'm surviving it yet. Well maybe, I'm not dead yet. To be continued.....

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Here are some pics of our new life:

Pregnancy announcement

Chunky P at lunch

Decorating our tree 

       Please leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you!