Lets start off with a Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss! Don't worry my friends if you had no clue. I only know this because of teaching. Also, you would have thought that I would have read my chunk of love some major Seuss title's today huh...but nope not this mamma. This mama had some major life events to accomplish, so lets get to it.On tonight's episode:
1) Car washing....bet I do it better than you do.
2) Serious constipation.....and you thought you had a clog
3) Namaste...and I'm not talking yoga
1) Car washing....bet I do it better than you do. Yeah so, my car has been on my list of "things I get to do" for almost a month. I kept putting it off not because I'm lazy, but because my car sits under an Oak tree in our drive way. Every Spring, it sheds this nasty, sticky when wet pollen stuff along with an endless supply of leaves. I wanted to wait to wash my car until it had shed 98% of its old growth. You might be asking why I wash my car better than you then. Well, I'll tell you that it has nothing to do with the soap, brush, or water. I would love to say it's my enormous boobs, but that would be a lie and any wet T-shirt contest would prove that too. I wash my car better, because I put my kid in her pack N play outside and top it with a fitted sheet to keep the bugs and leaves out. SIMPLE...check it out. She passed out under the shade of the second Oak tree and loves being outdoors.
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| Snoozing under the tree |
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| Top with a fitted sheet |
Lets get real. I had absolutely no idea it could look and possibly feel as painful as I witnessed it today. My poor chunk has started solids. She loves rice cereal, carrots and sweet potatoes. Since she had finished the rice cereal box, I purchased the oatmeal cereal with bananas, thinking she'd like that too. Well, I was wrong. She loves it. She loves it so much she screams if you don't stick the spoon in her mouth fast enough. Well, I didn't realize that we had pretty much stuffed our chunk with intestinal clogging foods. Today, after napping, napping and napping, she woke up in a horrible mood and refused to sit. I'm talking stiff legs locked at the knees. When I went to take her diaper off this afternoon, I could hardly stand to watch as she pretty much grabbed her little ankles, turned red in the face and strained to poo. I felt so bad. INSERT GRAPHIC DETAILS.......I could see it, but nothing was fitting through that little opening. I felt helpless. I called the pediatricians office where I was told I could do a number of things. a) I could feed her prunes. b) I could give her water and corn syrup in a bottle c) I could insert a rectal thermometer and move it just in a little circular motion to help things pass. Well, since I don't have prunes or corn syrup in the house, rectal thermometer was the winner. Believe it or not, circular rectal thermometer motions work, out popped some mini human poo and she was no longer in pain or cranky. It was like I had given her new life. She bounced back into a happy baby so quick. I however needed something with alcohol.
That brings us to our last but not least,
3) Namaste and I'm not talking yoga.
I finished tonight's dinner with a fabulous beer from Dogfish Head called Namaste. If you are a beer connoisseur, then try Namaste. It's a white beer brewed with orange peels, lemon grass, coriander and other spices.
Thank you Dogfish Head, that was just what I needed after all of the events today.
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